Acknowledging Brokenness

"The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:18

Welcome to a fresh start, friend! Life can feel heavy sometimes, can’t it? I get it—I’ve been there. After my time in the service, I carried the weight of my sins (anxiety, anger, fear, regret, guilt, shame) around by myself and it felt like the weight of the world was on my shoulders. My issues were defining me and it was becoming something I clung to. I had nightmares almost every night that I couldn't awaken from. I became anxious in large crowds, to the point where I wouldn't go out often. I had become terrified driving through country roads where I was the only one on the road. I kept thinking someone was watching me, waiting for me.

I was consistently telling myself, "I am only this way because of..." or, "If I can only do x, y, and z, I will be able to climb out of this rut" but that never really gave me lasting peace, I was still very broken. I was trying to solve this problem alone. My falling short of God's glory and crossing many of his lines and laws was sinking me further and further into regret and despair. That was the bad news and it may hurt to read, but that's ok.

But here’s the good news: that weight doesn’t have to define us. It’s an invitation to something better, Jesus Christ himself. Like I said before, I could not save myself. I was heading down the road to eternal separation from God. I found myself in my driveway one evening broken, down, and depressed, I had just finished listening to a sermon through a podcast that stirred something in me. The sermon went like this:

...our problem is this. That God created the world and God created man and He put man in the garden to keep the garden. And He gave the man a command. And He held that man to perfect perpetual obedience to that command. And He promised him life if he kept it and death if he didn't. And he didn't keep it; he ate. And because of the one man, sin entered the world and death through sin.

Everyone born from that man through ordinary generation inherited that man's sin nature. And because of that sin nature, sins proceed from it. And our world is broken because of that sin and we stand guilty before a holy and righteous God. And we know that He's holy and we know that He's righteous. We crave justice. But the problem is that if God gives us justice, we all die.

And so that God, in his goodness and in his mercy, sent forth his Son that was not born of ordinary generation but was born of a virgin--yes, the virgin birth matters. Why? Because if He's born of ordinary generation, He's born in sin. But because He's not born in ordinary generation, He's not born in sin. He's clean of sin, His record is clean. And He keeps His record clean and He obeys God's law. And because He's fully God and fully man, He obeys the law of God on our behalf in His active obedience. And in his passive obedience, God made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us.

All we, like sheep, had gone astray. Each of us had turned to his own way. But God laid upon Him the iniquity of us all. And Christ died for sin, once for all--the just for the unjust. And God imbutes our sinfulness to Him. And He nails our sinfulness to the tree. And Christ dies and raises again on the third day for our justification. And there is another imputation, the righteousness of Christ is then imputed to us so that God can be both the just and the justifier of the one who places faith in Jesus Christ. So that all those who come to Christ may enter in. All those who place faith in Christ might be saved, but sanctified. Because He's the firstborn of many bretheren.

We are justified and adopted into the family of God, and we are sanctified. And as His children we begin to bear the family resemblence. And we're futher sanctified throughout this life by the very same gospel that saves us until one day when it's all said and done. We're not just saved from the penalty of sin. We're not just saved from the power of sin. But one day, we're glorified and saved from the very presence of sin. That's the gospel that we preach! That's the gospel that we need! That's the gospel that's more than enough!"

- Voddie Baucham

"I am a sinner."

I said it, and it hurt. The truth of the matter is I needed that pain so that I could understand my dependence on God. I started with the sin I could identify (that I mentioned at the beginning) within me and brought it to the Lord saying, "I can't carry on like this anymore. Take it from me, save me." God is the one who saves. God is the one who forgives. We should be pleading with Him. That night in my driveway, I realized that Jesus accepted me as-is and gave me a new lease on life. God's still working on me. This isn't an instant fix but I am getting better one day at a time thanks to God's grace.

Jesus said, "All that the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never cast out" (John 6:37).

I'm Still Confused

That's ok, this didn't click for me at first. Again, it's a process. Let me break down some of the terminology and themes used by Pastor Voddie Baucham in his sermon.

Total Depravity -- Nobody's perfect, we are born into sin and it affects everything we do, think, and feel. It's like carrying a backpack full of burdens that you cannot shake--anger, fear, guilt, dread, impending doom--until someone takes it off for you.

Substitutionary Atonement -- Jesus paid the ultimate price for us. He died so that we don't have to face the ultimate punishment--eternal separation from God. His death covers us completely, our debt has been paid in full.

Imputation (of Righteousness) -- Because Jesus took on sin and died for us, God sees those who believe as forgiven of their sins. It's like getting a fresh start, even when you feel you don't deserve it.

Active Obedience -- Jesus lived the perfect life we are unable to. He followed all the laws and rules that we couldn't. He didn't just die--He lived right so we don't have to be perfect ourselves.

Passive Obedience -- Jesus took the punishment we deserved without fighting back, so we could be forgiven. It's the ultimate sacrifice--He didn't dodge the pain, He took it on. For you.

Justification -- God sees Jesus' sacrifice as the perfect fulfillment for sin. He wipes your slate clean and calls you His own, no questions asked. It's like a judge banging the gavel and saying 'not guilty'--you're free no matter what you've done in the past.

Sanctification -- God fixes and molds us over time. After He saves us, He keeps working on us to make us more like Him, step by step. After placing our trust and faith in Him, we begin our training--slowly getting stronger, even when we stumble along the way.

Glorification -- God will one day finish the job. No more pain, no more sin--just a perfect you, and forever with Him. Everything you've fought through gets left behind, and you're whole.

The Light of Christ’s Sacrifice

Here’s where it gets exciting: Jesus came to make us new! John 1:4-5 paints this beautiful picture of Christ as life and light, shining so brightly that no darkness can snuff it out. I used to feel like my struggles dimmed everything, but then I met the One whose light never fades. When I surrendered to Him, it was like the sun broke through the clouds after a long night.

And how did He do it? Through His sacrifice. Isaiah 53:5 says He was pierced and crushed—not because He had to, but because He wanted to bring us peace and healing. Imagine that: the King of the universe taking on our mess so we could have His wholeness. Peter doubles down in 1 Peter 2:24—Jesus carried our sins on the cross, so we could leave them behind and live for something better. His wounds didn’t just heal us; they set us free to stand tall again.

That’s what pulled me out of my rut. I didn’t have to fix myself—Christ already did the heavy lifting. His sacrifice isn’t just a story; it’s power for today. You don’t have to earn it or deserve it. It’s yours because He loves you that much.

Stepping Into Hope

So, what do we do with this? We step into it! Acknowledging our brokenness isn’t the end—it’s the beginning of hope. Romans 15:13 calls God the "God of hope," promising to fill us with joy and peace as we trust Him. I’ve felt that shift—when I stopped trying to be my own savior and let Christ take the lead, joy started bubbling up. It’s not fake or forced; it’s real, because it’s from Him.

It didn’t mean every day was perfect, but it meant I wasn’t alone anymore. And here’s the best part: we don’t have to work for it. Ephesians 2:8-9 says it’s all grace—a gift we just receive. No bootstraps required, just open hands. Friend, you’re not stuck. You’re not too far gone. Christ’s sacrifice has already made a way. Picture Him standing there, arms wide, saying, “I’ve got you.” All it takes is turning to Him. That’s what I did, and my life’s been brighter ever since.

A Prayer for You

Let’s close with this: take a deep breath and talk to Him. Here’s a prayer to get you started: “Lord Jesus, I’m tired of carrying this alone. I acknowledge my brokenness, but I’m so grateful You don’t leave me there. Thank You for Your sacrifice, for taking my sins and giving me Your light. Fill me with Your hope and peace today. I’m stepping toward You—help me trust You more. Amen.”

Philippians 4:6-7 promises that when we bring everything to God, His peace guards us. That’s not just a nice thought—it’s a shield for your heart. You’re not alone in this journey. Christ is with you, and He’s stronger than anything you’re facing.

Take that step today. Let His light in. You’ll be amazed at what He can do.